it’s an awful feeling

it’s an awful feeling to know that you can write, but you don’t. to know that people have cried over your writing, and laughed, and felt understood for maybe the first time. to know that there’s people out there who would smile to see a blog post from the flood appearing in their inbox. it’s…

bits and pieces

substance. something that is lost between 2 half-written songs and 3 post drafts and 4 works-in-progress and 5 assignments all due within 3 days. when you're an all-or-nothing person, it hurts to have so many pieces of you in so many different places. a thin spread of mediocrity over 16 different projects sits uneasily in…

qu(art)antine

sitting in my cold bedroom beneath a cold window displaying the lovely view of a cold brick wall naturally led me to go back and scroll through the light-soaked photos of this past winter vacation in the sunshine state. one particular photo caught my attention - it was of my sister’s face laced with the…

don’t close your eyes, child

01/06/20 there’s a minty taste in my mouth as I climb into the rental car and wave goodbye to my grandparents. they're standing besides the flowering mailbox nestled beneath the shade of a magnificent oak tree, hanging with the antique paraphernalia that seems to inhabit every corner of the old orange-stone house. i can still…

undulation

we were reading Gerard Manley Hopkins in literature class. his time-worn, enchanting metaphorical verses, richly ‘twined with religious and spiritual themes, is the very stuff that speaks to my soul. I was sitting at the kitchen table, elbows out, in the house of the little boys that I babysit. they had been asleep for many…

tell me something beautiful

You're feeling that ice coldForgetting the good thingsCaught up in the problemsPlease stop complaining yes, my throat and ears are feeling ice cold, sickly, ringing with an empty, dull pain. large purple shadows hang under my eyes and my lower lip is limp and swollen. there is no light in my room, besides what is…

unity

every day this week the waves have crept stealthily close to the front lines of families sitting unawares underneath umbrellas, hoping to catch amateur-beachers by surprise and wipe out their colorful and sadly unfortified establishments. seasoned families including our little tribe pile all of our belongings onto chairs and strollers, and build trenches in front…

:.:in trench i’m not alone:.:

06/09/19 the stage went black and the cheering of thousands of ecstatic banditøs was ear-splitting. that didn't stop you from adding your own voice. the moment we had all been waiting for was here - the curtain fell dramatically from the ceiling and the bass began booming. the flaming car slowly rose from beneath the…

you’re an angel fallen down

Ruby - a song lost to most of the world but so wrenchingly beautiful that those who know it keep it close to their hearts - like the precious gem it is. Don't be alarmed ... it takes a while for you to see beyond the dark, pulsing melodies, the desperate screaming, the seeming bitterness…

before you start your day

open the slits in your face and start your day a lot of the trial of getting up in the morning is opening your eyes - and keeping them open. that drowsy alternate-self tugs at the slits in your faces, pulling them shut. but once we've opened them, and kept them open, our day has…